AUSTRALIA IS SO CRAZY.
I’m serious, it’s nuts. There are sharks, kangaroos and spiders everywhere. Everyone has an Australian accent. It’s like an episode of (my beloved) Steve Irwin’s The Crocodile Hunter.
I’m kidding, I live on Bondi Beach so there are no kangaroos. But there are definitely a shit ton of sharks and spiders.
A whale frolicked and jumped around in the water off of the beach on my first day. It’s bananas.
Things I’ve learned since moving to Australia, in no particular order:
- Everyone has an Australian accent – I know, I know, I know but watching the Australian version of The Bachelorette with the Australian voiceover on commercials while ordering take out from someone with an Australian accent has not gotten old.
- There are shark alarms. SHARK ALARMS.
- Time traveling totally exists – My plane took off from LA on Wednesday night and I landed in Sydney on Friday morning, I straight up skipped Thursday (now planning to skip over Sunday Scaries on my next trip back)
- Day drinking > Night drinking – Day drinking is probably my #1 skill, so this is good news.
- The best place to dog watch is Gertrude and Alice on Hall St in Bondi Beach
- A New York Yankees hat does not mean that someone is from New York or even from America – In addition to time travel, I now have an invisibility cloak in the form of a white Yankees hat so people assume I’m some cool foreign chick; same rules apply for Dodgers hats
- Cockatoos = Pigeons of Australia. There are 10 billion of them. They are extremely loud.
- Avocado toast is indeed everywhere. So is banana bread and acai bowls. I try to eat one of each every day. It is awesome
- Everyone is fit AF – I was jet lagged and thought I’d take a nice solo run on the beach at 6am on a Sunday morning and there were no less than 500 people working out. ON A SUNDAY MORNING. I’ve never seen that many people in the West Village before noon ever, let alone up and jogging around on a weekend.
- There are birds called Magpies that will attack you out of nowhere. It hasn’t happened yet, but I feel like it’s imminent. I think about this approximately 85% of my time outdoors.
- Messina is the best ice cream disguised as gelato in the world.
- Finding an apartment is REALLY challenging and REALLY expensive. I pay $300 more in rent a month than I did at my swanky apartment in Greenwich Village.
- Everyone drives on the other side of the road – Seems obvious, but it also applies to sidewalks. It is very hard to undo 26 years of walking up the right side of the stairs and looking left to cross the street. There is no way I make it a month here without getting hit by a car.
- Coffee/Tea is essentially rocket fuel. I am *cracked* out after one chai latte.
Do you love it?
Do you miss New York?
Are you so tan?
Do you have a job yet?
No, and I’d like to keep in that way for at least a couple more months.
Have you made any friends?
Yes, everyone has been amazing and is already putting up with most of my blogging bullshit (see below trip to the Randwick Races – it was as fun as it looks).